Thursday, January 10, 2008

Where do I begin?

2 Years
24 Months
730 Days
17,520 hours

That is how long we have been waiting for our referral from China. How much longer will we have to wait? Who knows for sure?My best friend Lisa tells me all the time that I am a much stronger person then she is. She tells me she is not sure that she could be as patient as I have been while we wait for Sophia. I tell her that I am really not patient I just have no other choice. The adoption is a wonderful and strange thing all at the same time. The unknown is so scary some times. When we began this wait we never really thought that we would have a baby in 6 or 8 months, but we also never dreamed it would take more then 2 years either. This anniversary is one we never thought we would have. We looked at each other this morning and said how do we even address today? What are the right words? Happy-NO , Merry-NO- Congratulations-NO, none of those seem right because this is not exactly a happy occasion but not exactly sad either. We know we are close, we can feel it, can't explain it but we can feel it. We know that Sophia is alive somewhere on the other side of the world. She in the last few months has had to face more loss and more trauma then any one person should have to and she is just a baby. She has lost more then time, more then 2 years really. She has no idea how her life is about to change because she is not waiting for us and has not been waiting for us for 2 years, she is not anticipating our arrival. We know that it will happen and one day this wait will be a memory. We know that our lives will be filled with the joy of our daughters laughter and tears from time to time. For now we surround ourselves with others who understand what we are going through like Susan and Jonathan Love our friends and travel mates. They are waiting for their first child Lily Kate. It is very possible that Lily Kate and Sophia are crib mates right now. Susan and I have had several conversations about that and it brings us comfort to know that they are probably together. On referral day I know Susan and I will be e-mailing and calling each other with joy in our hearts and excitement in our voices. For now we support each other ... When she is down I try to give her words of encouragement and when I am down she is always there with the right thing to say. Yesterday Susan was feeling down and we shared several e-mails back and forth, by lunch time I think she was starting to feel better. Then she sent me this message of inspiration and without even knowing it made my heart fill with love for her and for our daughters.. Thank you Susan your friendship and support mean more then you know. The fact that we have had the time to connect and for our relationship to grow has been a blessing and will only benefit Sophia and Lily Kate for years to come

"The time may be delayed, the manner may be unexpected, but the answer is sure to come.
Not a tear of sacred sorrow, not a breath of holy desire poured out to God will ever be lost;
but in God’s own time and way will be wafted back again in clouds of mercy,
and fall in showers of blessings on you, and those for whom you pray."


Cheri said...

That was a beautiful message that you posted today. My heart aches for you & Riz...reaching the two year mark is such an emotional thing. Like you said, it's not a happy thing but yet it's not so sad either because you KNOW you are getting so close to finally seeing and holding Sophia. Shane and I think about you two all the time and we can't wait for you to share all the same feelings that we go through each day when we hold our sweet little Hope. You are both so strong and we're so proud of you for staying so positive throughout this wait. Just know that we are ALWAYS here for you and we can't wait to celebrate the day that you finally get to see Sophia for the first time!! You two are going to be the BEST parents. I know this because you are a GREAT aunt & uncle to Hope!!! Hang in there!! We love you both!!

LaLa said...

I love that quotation....who is it?

Your time WILL come as ours WILL...hang in there.

LK's Mom said...

Thank you for being there for me! Knowing that you and Riz are right there with us make the journey easier. Our daughters are out there and yes, they don't know us, but the love and prayers we send them reach all the way to China.

I believe the quote is St. Thérése - the Little Flower:)

love you guys~
Susan and Jonathan

Sharon said...

Thinking of you guys today. Will we ever lose the significance of these days or will we always keep that number "special"? The 10th for you. For me, the 16th.


Sophia's Mama said...

Sharon I think after all this time the 10th of the month will never be just any old day again. I guess we should ask Cheri if it happens that way. Hang in there we are getting closer.

Susan...You are so right I believe or at least I hope that some how the girls can feel our love..

Cheri, Thanks for your support by the time we all go you are going to be an old pro at this mom thing and we will be asking you all kinds of questions.

Lala.. as Susan said "I believe the quote is St. Thérése - the Little Flower:)"

Thanks everyone for checking in on us today it means so much to us..We could not get through this without all of your support

Dannye said...

I just know the end to your wait is getting's just gotta!! You guys deserve to see that sweet face!!

and btw, you've been nominated..check out my blog when you get a chance!! hugs!!

Cheri said...

The significance of your LID date....well, EVERY month Shane and I would celebrate our LID anniversary by getting Chinese food. Yes, that date still sticks in our mind, but NOTHING like it used to. Now we celebrate the 5th (the day we got our referral) and the 11th (our Gotcha Day)...they are much happier days to remember!! Can't wait until each of you are celebrating THOSE days!!! Love & Hugs!!

Wendy said...

((Hugs to you)) Hitting that 24 was sobering. We just have to keep trudging through this wait. At some point it has to end!