Thursday, February 11, 2010


The topic of how to talk to Sophia about adoption has been on our minds a lot lately for some reason. I guess because she is growing so fast and learning so much we don't want to miss the opportunity to make it part of her every day language. Obviously she will always know that she looks different from us but the details of that she will have many questions about. We are trying to prepare ourselves for the onslaught of questions that will inevitably come. We don't know the answers and maybe never will but we are searching for a way to express to her that she has always been loved by us, before we knew her and by her birth mother because she chose life for her and by her foster mother because she gave her so much love and care while she was in China before we became a family. Today I received an email from a Grandmother I befriended during "The Wait" . Her daughter was also in the process of waiting for her daughters referral from China. Grandma B sent a letter that I wanted to share. It gives a glimpse at what is in store for Sophia as she grows and a glimpse into the spirit of a child's mind.

The letter frmo Grandma B
"Thought you might like to hear R's story. She is a blond, blue eyed 5 yr old, very verbal and outgoing. She was adopted domestically as a new born. Her mother, M, is often amazed by her antics.The one thing R did not want to discuss was the being adopted...until after Lauren came. Family and friends had a party to welcome her and R was there and thoroughly enjoyed the celebration. A few days later R's teacher called."Mrs. M. it's about R...she is going around telling the other children that she is adopted." "She is"Silence...then an incredulous voice of the teacher asked, "From CHINA???" Seems that the party had convinced R that adoption was a wonderful thing. She also was confused about how China fit into the picture, but that if you were adopted you are from there.At Christmas, R's children's choir was waiting their turn to sing. M noticed that she was wearing an angry face and talking to the little girl next to her. After the children sang their director came to talk to M."Did you notice that R was upset?" "Yes, and I am sorry if she did something she shouldn't""No apology needed...I wanted to give her a big hug. The girl next to her said, "Nobody wanted you and that is why you are adopted." R glowered and replied, "You are wrong! EVERYBODY wants me!"May our little ones always have the confidence and assurance that they are from a special country, and that everybody in their family wants them."

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